


Sometimes

by bearwald



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Death, Drama, Hurt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2018-01-12 20:49:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1199745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearwald/pseuds/bearwald
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fireman!Denmark AU. Warning: major character death. "Mathias Kohler was never living for him. You could call him selfish, but he was anything but. He lived for Lukas and Emil and Berwald and Tino and every single life he saved. But never himself. He wasn't worth it." DenNor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes

“Mathias, get out!”   
“No, god, I’m going to get her! I’ll be fine!”   
It’s funny how life works.   
Some nights, you lay awake at three am just trying to muster up the courage to call and say “I love you”.   
Some nights, you’re pushing past smoke and fire to save a kid because you know she deserves it more than you do to just let yourself give up.   
It’s hilarious how when life comes to an end, you start to realize you’ve never really been living it for yourself.   
Mathias Kohler was never living for him. You could call him selfish, but he was anything but. He lived for Lukas and Emil and Berwald and Tino and every single life he saved. But never himself. He wasn’t worth it.   
Maybe that’s why he found himself trapped and fading out. Maybe that’s why his only regret was that he never got to hear Lukas say “I love you”. After all, maybe life wasn’t worth it anyways. He’d never have heard that no matter how long he lived.   
“Lukas!”   
He screamed as if he’d forgotten he’d lost his voice to the smoke.   
“Lukas!”   
And sobbed as if he’d forgotten no one could hear.   
“I love you, god, please….”   
Dying doesn’t feel like you’d expect. It isn’t fast. There’s no ‘life flashing before your eyes’. Just Lukas. Or maybe there is, because Lukas was all there ever was he wanted to remember.   
“Goodbye…”   
It doesn’t end with goodbye. It never does. It ends with fire and pain and the only thought in your mind being one of regret and anguish and pain you can hardly take it.   
Life doesn’t end with goodbye. That’s nearly where it starts.   
~  
“Good morning! I love you (In case I don’t make it back, you know? Joking, joking!) I’ll text you when I get home, yeah?”  
“Go to work, Mathias.”   
“Yeah, yeah.”  
“Be careful.”   
“I haven’t died yet!”   
Sometimes life ends with a wish that you could change those last words.   
~  
“It’s late. Call me.”  
“Mathias, please call me.”   
“Mathias.”  
“Mathias, please. This isn’t funny.”  
“It’s been six hours.”   
“Where are you?”  
“Mathias Kohler, I am coming over.”  
“You aren’t here.”  
“Where are you.”   
“Mathias, I’m calling Berwald.”  
“He’s asleep. Where are you.”   
“Twenty five calls. Where are you.”  
“I love you. Is that what you’re waiting for. I love you. Now stop this game.”  
“Mathias, this isn’t funny!”  
~  
“Mathias Kohler, you idiot. You massive idiot, you selfish jerk! How could you! God, please tell me this is a joke!”  
“I love you.”  
“Saying it won’t bring you back, will it.”  
“I love you, Mathias.”  
“I love you.”   
“Please come home.”  
Sometimes life ends with loose strings and untied conversations and unsaid answers. Sometimes life ends without really ending much of anything at all.


End file.
